In the span of a few days, Dr. Jo Clifford’s life was
changed forever.

Her son committed suicide, and she was fired from her job
two weeks after that.

She went into a closet, shut the door and wept.

But something unexpected happened: She met God there, in a
space stuffed with shoes, shirts, pants and belts. Dr. Clifford felt his
presence, and she knew he grieved with her.

A devout Christian, she believed the Lord would take her
awful circumstances and use them for His good. She had no idea how. But something
in her heart and soul stirred.

“I had a choice in that closet,” she says. “This was
happening to me, and I had to choose how I wanted to work through it.”

Dr. Clifford decided to become a Christian counselor; she
earned her PhD and has a private consulting practice, Joy Christian Counseling, to help others
understand that joy comes in the morning.

In her work as a temperament therapist, Dr. Clifford has
seen grief incapacitate and paralyze, even the strongest of people. Grief is a
response to an event someone doesn’t want or expect.

It comes after all sorts of occurrences: losing a loved one,
a relationship, a pet, a job. But there are smaller, lower-grade events people
grieve: A child doesn’t grow up to
be beautiful, handsome or successful. Or someone gets a promotion, and the “colleague” now becomes
the boss. If people don’t work
through their grief—and the emotions attached to them—it will leak out
eventually, causing pain for themselves and others.

Anger, depression and anxiety may ensue, along with
isolation. People may eat too
much, too little or turn to other debilitating addictions, says Dr. Clifford,
who offers a biblical example of healthy grieving.

It’s found in the story of King David, who lost the first son
he conceived with Bathsheba. Although
he pleaded with God, the child died. David washed himself, cleaned his garments
and accepted his son’s death. Then he continued on with his life and worshipped
God.

“In the Jewish tradition, people go back to work and are
among the living after an appropriate mourning period of about 30 days,” Dr.
Clifford says. “They go forward. Did David ever get over the loss of his son?
No, probably not. Sadness is an appropriate emotion after loss, but it’s better
to deal with the sadness than the debilitating grief that causes us to be stuck
in anger and depression.”

Dr. Clifford has worked with many people who are angry at
God, sometimes for years after the event. Many of her clients question why the event occurred in the
first place.

“People will ask, ‘Why did my baby die?’” says Dr. Clifford.
“’Why did I lose my job’? I could ask ‘Why did my son commit suicide’? The
answer is nobody knows.”

But what Dr. Clifford does know is that people have to deal
with their grief—as painful as it may be—to eventually gain perspective. In the
process, they find

real hope.

That’s what the Bible offers.

And God. “He
knows all about grief, and he knows the answer to ‘why,’” says Dr. Clifford. “Grief
is only for a season.”

John 16:20 makes that clear: “I tell you for certain that
you will cry and be sad … but later you will be happy.”

Dr. Clifford is a prime example of that promise made real.