There is no right way to grieve. In some cultures grief is expressed through open throated, full-bodied lamenting. In other cultures it is private and felt internally. Grief can bring people together (like Jewish families sitting shiva, a weeklong mourning period following the loss of a family member) or send people out on great journeys (like returning to a loved one’s grave on Dia de Muertos, a holiday celebrated throughout Mexico).
Grief can be seen when people wear head coverings or black clothing. It can be named during the liturgy for All Souls’ Day. And it can be held—quietly carried in the mourner’s heart.
However grief is expressed, it catches us all off guard. Whether we’ve had months or moments to prepare for a loss, grief reorients our lives. It interrupts our thinking and disrupts our sleep. It causes us to look at the world differently—what once felt permanent is now passing, and what was whole is incomplete.
Whenever our lives are reoriented, we can lose our way. The familiar markers and routines in our day—from morning coffee to going to bed at night—are experienced differently. Something, or someone, is no longer present. The landscape has changed.
God can help us walk through these difficult periods. Even when we can’t see the road in front of us, God’s voice guides us one step at a time. We see this in Isaiah’s prophetic words to the Israelites living in exile, “If you wander off the road to the right or to the left, you will hear his voice behind you saying, ‘Here is the road. Follow it’” (Isaiah 30:21, GNTD). We can continue to receive this as a promise today.
Scripture can help us hear God’s voice—pointing out the markers, whispering gently and accompanying us when the way is unclear.
Road Marker: You Are Not Alone
One of the ways Scripture orients us is by letting us know we are not alone during times of overwhelming sadness. We are part of a whole tradition of people who have experienced losses and grieved over them. This “great cloud of witnesses” accompanies us as we walk through difficult seasons (Hebrews 12:1, see also chapter 11). Their stories, found in the pages of Scripture, can comfort us and bring us strength in the midst of our own losses.
From the foundations of Israel’s history we see examples of the faithful grieving. Abraham and Sarah—the father and mother of our faith—spent a lifetime together. They courageously left their hometown to follow God’s call. They spent years waiting on God’s promise for a son. And eventually they became the patriarch and matriarch of the people of Israel. When Sarah died, Scripture says Abraham mourned and wept (Genesis 23:12). An entire chapter is devoted to Abraham securing a burial ground for his wife (Genesis 23:1-19). The loss of Sarah impacted the entire community, and Isaac grieved the loss of his mother (Genesis 24:67b).
In the New Testament, Jesus wept over the death of his friend Lazarus (John 11:35). A group of women beat their breasts and wailed at the foot of the cross (Luke 23:27). And the community of faith grieved after Jesus’ crucifixion. Mary Magdalene wept at Jesus’ tomb and the disciples gathered together in mourning (John 20:11; Mark 16:10).
The Bible doesn’t shy away from these deep emotions. Instead, it acknowledges the presence, and profound impact, of loss. How did Abraham feel waking up on the first morning without Sarah—the mother of his children and an entire promised nation? What did Jesus’ followers say as they sat gathered in that room—those first days following a tragic event? Within those empty hours and grief-shrouded rooms, God’s light was still emerging. It directed them to a greater story.
Road Marker: Loss Is Not the End of the Story
What is this story and how can it help us walk through grief?
The Bible begins with the fullness of God’s glory displayed in creation. But with the Fall comes immense loss. Adam and Eve lose their secure home in Eden, their innocence and their close union with God. In many ways, the rest of the story is about trying to regain what has been lost. A long journey unfolds, as God creates a covenant with the people of Israel and extends that covenant to all people. But we begin to realize that God is leading them—and us—not only towards regaining what was lost, but forward into something new and more complete.
Within this journey toward redemption, God did not stay far off from our losses. God took on flesh and entered into humanity. Through the person of Jesus, God suffered alongside us and experienced our pain. He cried tears, bled blood and bore wounds. He went into the grave and was raised to new life. Through Jesus’ life, death and resurrection we experience God’s abundant life both now and in the life to come.
Reading through Scripture lets us understand our own losses within this greater narrative. Loss is part of the story, but it is not the final ending. Paul writes, “I consider that what we suffer at this present time cannot be compared at all with the glory that is going to be revealed to us. All of creation waits with eager longing for God to reveal his children” (Romans 8:18, GNTD). While we suffer now, we know that God’s glory far surpasses our grief. God’s glory has the power to enter into our sadness and raise us to new life.
Road Marker: All Will Be Made New
Scripture ultimately points us to the great road marker that “all will be made new.”
“Now God’s home is with people! He will live with them, and they shall be his people. God himself will be with them, and he will be their God. He will wipe away all tears from their eyes. There will be no more death, no more grief or crying or pain. The old things have disappeared” (Revelation 21:3-4, GNTD).
As we walk the path of grief, God both comforts us and leads us home. God will wipe the tears from our eyes. God himself will be with us. God will make his home among us—both now and in the fullness of time.
Our periods of losing our way—the disorienting days of grief—can become defining times in our spiritual journeys. They can lead us to a deeper awareness of God’s presence. They can lead us to see more clearly where we are going. They can sharpen our perception of God’s kingdom. And they can lead us to find our homes in God’s eternal embrace, where the old ways of death have disappeared and the new life is kept safe.