It’s every parent’s dream to raise children who are kind and
loving to others.

But the American culture of overindulgence can derail that
dream, says Dr. Margi McCombs, a
family and child educator for more than 30 years.

The media continually besieges parents with messages about
buying things that will make their children smart, bright, cool, successful.

While this boosts companies’ bottom lines, it does little to
help parents raise kids who are kind and loving to others.

But it is possible to raise caring kids—even in a culture of
overindulgence. Dr. McCombs offers five ways to help you create a loving home
environment where your children will flourish.

  1. Place
    yourselves as the head of the family.
     Too often, parents let children make all
    decisions for themselves, from as young as age 2. This places them in the
    “awesome role of boss,” Dr. McCombs says. “It makes them happy, and it’s a way for parents to avoid
    conflict, but it’s a short-sighted gain.

    “When children are given too many choices,”
    Dr. McCombs continues, “they are being set up for difficulty later on. When
    they go to school, they learn very quickly that they are not the boss, and many
    kids don’t know how to handle that.”

    Change the structure, McCombs urges,
    so that mom and dad are the boss. “Children feel much more secure when mom and
    dad are in charge,” Dr. McCombs adds. “This creates an important layer of
    emotional stability in their lives and in the home.” And it’s a much better
    platform from which to teach awareness of others.

  2. Model
    behavior you want your children to emulate.
    “If you’re trying to teach your
    children to be unselfish, be sure to examine your own behavior so that you’re
    not taking the biggest piece of steak on the plate,” Dr. McCombs says. “As
    parents, know the landscape of your own heart. We can read our children all the
    Bible stories we want, but if we’re acting selfishly ourselves, our kids will
    reflect our behavior.”
  3. Create
    your family’s mission statement.
     This is an important step in establishing
    your family’s identity and figuring out your values. Then convey those values
    to your kids so they understand who you are as a family and what you stand for.
    It helps them know who they are
    becoming.
  4. Make your
    kids understand they can’t have everything.
     Even if you have the resources,
    don’t give your kids everything they want, Dr. McCombs urges. That will create
    false expectations about the world, which will not give them all they desire. Talk
    to your children, instead, about the things they dream about and what you can
    and will do for them.
  5. Value
    conversation.
     Make sure everyone puts their cell phones and Ipads away (mom
    and dad included!), and talk to each other at dinner time, Dr. McCombs advises.
    “You’ll be amazed at how liberating it can be for the whole family to be
    together without being distracted by a text message.”